I recently joined a Facebook group for my middle school. I’ll be honest, middle school was tough for me. Those were some lonely years, mostly because I was bullied. There were a few people who made my life hell, and those people had followers. I was excluded, outcast, yelled at, called names, surrounded and shoved around at the bus stop, and in general I felt like I was a complete and total loser. This was roughly 1980, BEFORE social media existed, thankfully. I can’t imagine the amount of anguish victims of bullying must feel these days. At least I could escape it at home.
There were days when I waited until everyone left school before walking home because I was afraid I would be assaulted. I cried a LOT. I lived across the street from Rochambeau Playground in San Francisco and I would watch from my living room window as kids gathered after school, wishing to be included. Once in a while I would join in the community “hootenanny” at the rec center there. Of course, none of the “cool kids” would be caught dead attending an event with a bunch of adults playing music and singing folk songs. But, I could join in the singing and there was usually spaghetti, which I liked very much.
A few people showed kindness to me despite my social standing. The tiniest bit of compassion from anyone meant the world to me. Eventually, in the last year of middle school, I was accepted into a group of nice girls and had people to eat lunch with. Occasionally, I would even receive an invite for a party or a sleepover. I was thankful when, in the 9th grade, we moved across the bay to Oakland, where no one knew me, and I could start over.
It was with great hesitation that I joined the Facebook group, and did so mostly out of curiosity. At first I pretended to be just like them, writing about memories of Famolares, Dittos jeans, Members Only Jackets and LeSportSac purses. Each time I did so, I noticed it didn’t feel good and it would bring back feelings of “yuck.” I finally decided to share my own experience with the group and I ended by offering forgiveness. I felt a sense of relief and peace as I signed off. And, there was something else I felt…healing. The response notifications were immediate. Many people reached out to share their own experiences, show empathy, apologize.
I did (and once in a while still do) battle feelings/fear/assumptions of not being liked or not being good enough. However, I have come a long way and, through yoga, I have learned to be compassionate towards myself, to trust, and to actually believe people when they say they love me.
Today, I love practicing and teaching yoga, I raised an amazing strong, compassionate, sweet and kind young man, and have a wonderful, kind, loving generous husband. I have AMAZING friends. I’m living a life full of beautiful blessings. I found a life of love and compassion, thanks in part to those who showed kindness and compassion to me when I needed it most.
If I have ever hurt anyone, knowingly or unknowingly, I ask for your forgiveness. I will end this post by asking that everyone go out and do something nice for a stranger today. No, not just today…every day! You never know what someone is going through. The tiniest bit of kindness can make a difference. Smile and say hello, open a door, hold the elevator, look for opportunities to practice kindness. Whenever possible. It’s always possible. Thanks for reading. 
❤
Melissa Hanna Yoga 